There comes a time in most of our lives when we are faced with a tricky situation.
We’re mid-sex. We know an orgasm just isn’t coming. We look at the eager-to-please face of the person we’re having sex with, and are struck by the great dilemma: is it better to lie and fake an orgasm do make them feel better? Or is it better to be honest, admit it’s not working, and accept defeat?
It’s a true struggle. Your decision defines you as an orgasm faker or an honest sex-haver.
But the decision isn’t as simple as honesty vs. people-pleasing.
As a new survey of more than 2,000 people from Dr. Ed shows, context plays a significant role in whether or not we choose to fake an orgasm.
The researchers found that women are much more likely to fake an orgasm in a relationship versus during a one-night stand.
Which I find pretty interesting, as I’d be loads more likely to fake an orgasm if I knew faking wouldn’t have any long-term repercussions. A well-timed fake in a casual thing just makes the other person happy and everyone moves on.
When you fake in a longterm relationship, you’re encouraging unsatisfying sex by establishing that something that doesn’t feel that good has given you an orgasm. And you know that they’re just going to try the same move over and over again as a result.
But I suppose that when you’re in a longterm relationship, you’re more likely to care about the other person’s feelings and ego. So maybe that’s why you’re more of a faker once you’re coupled up.
The study found that during 20% of women have faked an orgasm during a one-night stand, versus 29% who’ve faked during a new relationship, and 31% who’ve faked in a longterm relationship.
Getting married, however, tends to reduce the fakery, with just 20% of women faking an orgasm after marriage.
Interestingly, the context of sex didn’t play as much of a role for men. On a one-night stand, 28% of men have faked it, versus 26% in a new relationship and 31% in a longterm relationship. After marriage, the percentage of men faking it drops to 15%.