The unnamed dad, who had three children (four, five, and nine), said his wife is being “selfish” in her decision and that she “struggles with the basic running of the household”.
He added that having a fourth child is going to be a needless financial burden and thinks that life will become unmanageable if she keeps the child. The couple found out about the pregnancy three to five weeks in.
People have not reacted well to the man’s views, calling him a t*** and a d***, among other things.
The dad wrote on Mumsnet :
“Wife struggles with the basic running of the household and now with a 4th it will be too much for her.
“We had discussed this previously and I made it clear I did not want more until the routines and house were in good order.
“Well fate screwed that up and now she’s 3-5 weeks pregnant. I immediately suggested termination but apparently she ‘just can’t bring herself to do it’.
“I don’t know how to get her to see sense, between the financial cost, the physical and mental struggle (she was ill with two of the three pregnancies and almost had a stroke from one of them) and the fact that I really don’t want more children right now it’s going to be unmanageable.
“She doesn’t seem to be able to rationally understand the huge commitment she is forcing on the whole family.
“I suggested termination for now, we can always get pregnant again in a few years once everything is in order but she is so adamant.
“I don’t even want to look at her right now let alone support her selfish decision (if it was later in the pregnancy I would understand but at this point it’s just a yolk sac and a tiny ball of cells, no heartbeat etc).
“I just needed to vent a little, but I can’t seem to get her to understand that she is making the wrong choice and forcing her wishes upon me for no real benefit.
“We were on birth control and she missed one dose and apparently that was enough to catch.”
The dad also wrote that he knows he can’t force his wife to have an abortion, then said, “but it feels like she is forcing me because she knows I will step up, of course I will… but I would be doing it not by choice but by force.”
He finished his post with the question: “What can I do?”
Outrage followed. Most people think the man is being selfish himself, pointing out that maybe he should “pull his weight” around the house, and that he didn’t take appropriate responsibility, because he left contraception up to her.
“You can’t really call her selfish for wanting to go through with the pregnancy when you left the contraception up to her,” said one Mumsnet user.
Another wrote: “You could help her to get the house ‘in good order’ and if you were so dead set on not having more kids then a vasectomy might’ve been an idea.”
One Mumsnet user commented: “How about you pull your weight around the house, support the poor cow and get a f***ing vasectomy?”
Soon, the comments got harsher. Clearly, most people don’t see the dad’s side, and feel he was being irrational and unthoughtful.
“You’re an a***hole,” one message said. “Basically what you’ve said here is she has to get an abortion because she doesn’t keep your house clean enough? Man up and take responsibility. It takes two to tango.”